Be a Mentor, Not a Competitor
Today is International Women’s Day and it led me to think a little deeper about what #BeBoldForChange actually means and the important role women play in each others career and development. International Women’s Day is a global day (March 8) celebrating the social, economic, cultural and political achievements of women. The World Economic Forum predicts the gender gap won’t close entirely until 2186. That’s simply too long to wait, we have to act now to impact real change, but more importantly how can we even begin to bridge the gap between men and women, when women are not even supporting other women in the work place.
Ask yourself what have you done recently to help other women (or men) in your company? Together, we should be helping everyone, everywhere to realize their potential and succeed at every level possible, however the reality is quite the opposite.There have been a few times in my career of creative advertising where I been thoroughly disappointed with the behavior and attitude of men in the workplace. But what is it about women not supporting other women that leaves us so disgusted? I certainly don’t expect all my female colleagues to go out of their way for me and hold my hand singing and prancing around the office, but I have been shocked when a woman who could have been supportive to me wasn’t, when a woman who could have been a mentor chose not to be, when a woman tore me down because of her own fear and anxieties instead of supporting me.
There can be multiple reasons why some women tear each other down instead of lifting each other up, the Queen Bee phenomenon for example is often used as a reason for such behavior. The Queen Bee is the senior woman who doesn’t help other women advance, who actively kicks the ladder out from under her when she reaches a top job. Another know theory is that when women are underrepresented in the workforce, they see fewer opportunities for individual advancement. This prompts the need to act in individualistic ways and to evaluate other women more negatively to eliminate threats to their career opportunities.
Robin Ely, a professor at Harvard Business School, suggests that, despite these stereotypes, women don’t fall victim to the so-called “queen bee” phenomenon — and that most women at the top do want to help other women.
Personally I believe some women behave in this manner because it’s in their nature, they just don’t believe in or care about the sisterhood of women. Perhaps it’s their own experiences or up-brining that makes them so self absorbed and oblivious to their lack of support. The trick is not to take it too personally, be mindful these people exist in the workplace. Not everyone exhibits mean girl behavior but when we encounter women that do, steer clear of them — or they’ll bring out your darker side. Patricia Foster, the program director of Bentley University’s Center for Women and Business, said,
“One person’s success does not mean another person’s failure. Women should make an active decision not to engage in that competition and support one another.”
So it’s high time to support each other, I’ve always had the mindset to lift as I climbed the career ladder, we should always seek to help others and here are my top three tips on how women can work with as opposed to against each other.
1. Find a mentor, create a Network of Champions.
We all need a role model, mentor, teacher or champion call them what you like these are the women or men that are a constant source of support, guidance, inspiration advice and strength, and they don’t have to be in your workplace. I have been very fortunate enough to have had great role models and mentors, both men and women.
The lessons I’ve learned and support I’ve received over the years from Laura Jordan Bambach founder of She Says and James Hilton Co-Founder of AKQA has shown me over and over again the importance of creating what I call a ‘Network of Champions’ — people who will always be in your corner, always there for you, in good times and tough times, whether you are succeeding for failing. They are always full of advice about what I should or should not be doing at work and always pushing me to never settle, more importantly they lead by example. They are the Jedi’s of the Creative Industry a driving force in pushing forward positive change and teaching others how to master important skills.
If you haven’t found a Jedi Master you’ve much to learn I would suggest joining groups like She Says every one of their 40,000+ members working together to inspire, learn from and support each other.
2. Be a mentor, when women help other woman, we all benefit.
It’s all about paying it forward in life, the more we give to the Universe more she will give back. We need to actively mentor other women, to help them make it through the minefield, stop complaining that your too busy, men have been doing this for decades, they actively do things together ‘the bro network’, they are building up the next young male leader in the business. We’ve got to mentor other women and support each other when we do this, extraordinary things happen.
A great example of women helping others is the Facebook Group Women in VR, founded by an inspiring team of women who have made it their mission to build a community for other women in Virtual Reality (VR). The founders founded by Jen Duong, Julie Young, Abby Albright, Sarah Stevenson and Helen Situ are empowering women in VR, AR and immersive Technologies to communicate and collaborate and they don’t leave out the men, they understand that we need to mentor and involve them too, so we can reshape a better, more gender-inclusive world.
So join a group, mentor others and become powerful allies we are uniquely qualified to do so because we experience many of the same challenges. When women help other woman, we all benefit. I highly recommend the Voice of Women Talks, a series of ‘in-conversations’ and Q&A’s with artists, activists, humanitarians, leaders, innovators, communicators and storytellers. Maureen Bryan founder of Voice of Women is proof that when women celebrate one another’s accomplishments, we’re all lifted up.
3. Become a leader — It’s time to smash the glass ceiling together
Be part of something that makes a difference, openly share your experiences and learn from women so we don’t repeat the mistakes of the others, lets not make it the norm, if women have treated, you badly in the work place make sure you don’t do the same.
I recently spoke at The 3% Conference in New York, created by Kat Gordon. Her perspectives have changed the industry, especially when it comes to advertising. Only 3% of all US Creative Directors are women, in a world where women influence upwards of 80% of consumer spending and 60% of social media sharing, Gordon claims this is business Suicide. Kat is proof we can all make a difference, the conference brings many issues to light and more importantly ways combat them with ‘how to’ advice for women leaders.
Cindy Gallop, the keynote speaker at the event blew my mind with her no bullshit approach, she recently said in an interview
“ More and more women are calling out the all-male or male-dominated upper echelons of adland and pointing out how this is actually damaging us in a world where the majority of consumers of every product are female, is making more women determined to get up there and lead in order to change the future of our industry. And more and more women are standing up as role models to inspire younger women — because you cannot be what you cannot see”
So, lets #BeBoldForChange and work together, only then can we help women everywhere to realize their potential and demonstrate the power of women helping women. As you celebrate International women’s day ask yourself what have you done recently to help other women (or men) in your company?
